Then there was the guy screaming every night because the voices wouldn't stop. The woman that was screaming at the nurses while walking around with a book that she was tearing apart. Then there was the guy from the high risk unit that tried to attack my group while we were walking to the cafeteria.
Overall it was a very relaxing and recuperative hospitalization. Smiles all around. I swear I'm happy now.
I think that I'm less sane for having been there. It was a hell of an experience.
Right now I can't get this girl out of my head. She's covered in scars, every visible bit of her has self inflicted scars. On my way out of the hospital she hugged me and asked me to take care of myself because she couldn't stand seeing me wanting to die. Literally, the night before she tried to kill herself. This shit is messing with me.
Asylums are rarely for the benefit of the patient but some notion of jailer, keeping them away from society.
Honestly, if you have to ever choose where to go, find a university affiliated hospital with a mental health wing, not just an asylum.
That's exactly what a nutter thinks.>>1327
On a serious note, those places are societies way of trying to hide the embarrassment of mental health because they don't want to see these things. They are literal hell behind walls. I've had family end up in there for suicide attempts too. Until mental health is looked at in a different light and dealt with properly, these places will continue to exist.
My first choice was part of the UW and my second was part of a normal hospital. This place was my choice. It was hear or go involuntary. My options were out. >>1329
It's going to be stuck in my head for a while yet. Everything there was fucking crazy, and not the patients. The encouragement system really fucked with me.
I meant to say it was my last choice.
It sure as fuck felt like it. The ER held me as long as they could. They were hoping that one of my top two choices would have an opening but they didn't. So I ended up at the worst. My wife is planning on preparing for me to go back but to one of the better options. My mental health is all over the place lately. Right now it's in a good place but that's a first for today (and I'm off to bed).
Just wanted to solve the puzzle. It says:
"I want to kill not only myself but others to"
You know my thoughts on it all and my particular brand of cynicism and solipsism aren't the most helpful.
All you can do is pick up the pieces and realize you're a better or worse person because of it, taking shit day by day.
I think it's about all I can do at this point.
I may be reading too much Eldritch literature in the last few weeks. Or months. Or years.
As long as you're not reading Dead Souls while being the one sane person in a facility, you're probably okay.